Strategy 2: Your Focus (Fighting the Real Enemy)

• Fervent Reading: Chapter 2: Your Focus
• Bible Reading:  Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Chron. 20:15, 17, Matt. 6:13 

"If I were your enemy, I'd disguise myself and manipulate your perspectives so that you'd focus on the wrong culprit—your husband, your friend, your hurt, your finances, anything or anyone except me. Because when you zero in on the most convenient, obvious places to strike back against your problems, you get the impression you're fighting for something. Even though all you're really doing is just…fighting. For nothing."

Notes from the study:

Illustration: If you ever watch a professional juggler, you will notice that no matter how many balls he is juggling, he is always focused on the highest point. As women, we juggle many things in life, but our focus should not be on those things, but rather the highest point—our God, Who can keep those "balls" from falling! (Isaiah 26:3 says, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.")   

"Focus clears away the clutter, minimizes distractions, and keeps you from being preoccupied with less important things."

• What are the little things we are often distracted with? [pursuit of peace and quiet, to/do list for the day, clean house…]

"Focus protects your goals and dreams from being consumed in small bites, stolen right out from under your nose in twenty-minute segments of compromise."

• What are some of your goals and dreams?  [raising godly children, being a joyful and peaceful mom, beautiful marriage…]

• What areas of compromise can eat away at those dreams? [impatience, anger, griping, bitterness…]

Amidst the craziness—the busyness and the distractions—of life, we can easily lose touch with a passage like Ephesians 6, which teaches us where our attacks are originating from and where our focus should be. We often will quickly lose our cool, our temper, and most of our self-control before we ever find our way back to reality.

REALITY is that we have been fighting the wrong enemy. The enemy is not your husband, children, finances, current living situation, church, in-laws, neighbors, health, upbringing, you fill in the blank—it is not 'flesh and blood,' things we can see… 

Let's study Ephesians 6:10-18:

1. Recognize the real enemy: the devil

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world..." (v.12)

2. Rely on God's solution: armor of God and PRAYER!

Fill in the blanks based on verses 13-17:  

• loins girt about with _________________ . Meditation on the truth of the Bible makes one's mind ready for battle. (Protects us from the devil's lies) 

• breastplate of ______________________ . Living obediently to God's Word protects our hearts from sin. (Protects us from the devil's accusations) 

• feet shod with the _____________    _____    ___________ . The gospel is our peace—peace with God—and it teaches us how to have peace with others. The gospel is our firm footing which reminds us that Christ has set us free! (Protects us from fear, guilt and spiritual bondage)  

• shield of ___________________ . Living faith in God's promises and His power. (Protects us from temptation)  

• helmet of ______________________ . Our future hope. (protects our minds from Satan's control) 

• sword of the Spirit, ______________    _______    __________ . Christians can strike back at Satan's kingdom by speaking the Word of God!

This armor is a picture of Christ. He is Truth. He is Righteousness. Thus, Romans 13:14 encourages us to "put on Christ." We received this armor the moment we received Christ, but we appropriate it each day through prayer.

Verse 18 says, "PRAYING ALWAYS with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit." 

We already possess this armor, but prayer is the ENERGY that enables us to wear it. It is the universal weapon of warfare, needed "at all times" (specific times, precise occasions, particular events') and so our prayers must be fervent, specific and personal.

And these prayers must be "in the Spirit." The Spirit directs our prayers through the Word (v.17). Without the Word of God, our prayers are missing the Spirit of God and without prayer, our Bible reading is missing the energy, life, vitality, the walking in the Spirit that was meant to spur our lives to good works and real faith—to victory.

This is a spiritual battle, so physical weapons—trying harder, getting up earlier, moving to a different neighborhood, giving your husband the silence treatment, giving that family member a piece of your mind—won't work.

Read through the verses at the end of chapter 2:

• What verse stands out most to you?  

• Write that verse on a card and put it on your windowsill or mirror or a place where you will see it throughout the day.

• Who or what do you spend your days fighting against? [our husbands, our children, our own negative thoughts…] 

• Do you ever feel like you really won? (Did God get the glory?)

God gets the glory when we hold our tongue, show kindness and love, think thoughts that are true—i.e. live out the gospel! 

___________________ 

Sidenote: MARRIAGE

Marriage is where Satan stands strongest against us, because he is directly opposed to the gospel. Your marriage is a flesh and blood representation of the gospel to your children, your friends, to everyone who knows you. 

What we see in the gospel is unconditional love—Christ demonstrating his love toward sinners like you and me who were UNWORTHY of His affection. 

Even if our husbands are worthy of our love and affection, Satan will find ways to sneak into our minds and divide us against each other—he will make the small matters seem monstrous and cause you to question your husband's love (for example: he may be washing the dishes for you and you are filled with resentment that he hasn't kissed you yet today —or conversely— you may have received plenty of affection that day, but would love a little help around the house!) No matter what our husbands do or don't do, they will never win with us as long as we let the devil rule in our thoughts. But, when in the moment, if you STOP and PRAY, looking to Christ for how to love and respond to your husband—Christ transforms your thinking and your marriage!

Instead of looking to our husbands for the love, joy, and peace that we need, we should be running to Christ! Then, we can bring the love, joy, peace we gain from Christ back to our husbands as a gift to our marriage. (The Battle Plan for Prayer, Kendrick)  

When disagreements occur, pray that neither or you will allow these differences to dominate, causing you to lose focus. Pray that you'll be committed to:

• listening respectfully 

• confessing openly 

• extending patience and kindness promptly 

• being hard to offend 

• being quick to forgive

"Hath not God said, 'A soft tongue breaketh the bone' (Prov. 25:15)? [This] is more than any [spiteful] tongue can do…This is certain: if meekness and respect will not prevail, anger and passion never can…'" -Richard Steele, A Theology of the Family, p. 250  

Though Satan would like us to believe that our husband is the enemy, in reality, when we fight against our husbands, we are fighting against ourselves! 

"The wife ought to consider that her honor and respect among her family and neighbors doth very much rise and fall according to that which she bears to her husband, so that in honoring him she honors herself." -Richard Steele, A Theology of the Family, p. 248   

It's not that you give in and give up. Rather, it is recognizing that you are not your husband's judge. It is allowing God to take over and change him. It's not your job to change your husband. It's your job to love him, to respect him and to pray for him.

___________________  

Ephesians 6:10 tells us to be strong  _____    ______    __________.

• So, do we need to work hard to fight against Satan?  [No, we cannot defeat him on our own; we are weak, but our God is all-powerful!]

• What do we do, then, when faced with a struggle or conflict?  [Seek God; PRAY! We do not have to fear, because He who is in us is greater than he that is in the world—I John 4:4]

When you pray, you let God TAKE OVER the battle, for 'the battle is not yours but God's' (2 Chron. 20:15, 17). And just as He delivered Noah and his family from the flood, the Israelites from bondage, Joseph from the pit and prison, Daniel from the lion's den, his friends from the fire, God can deliver you! From whatever you are up against today.

We can echo the words of Christ in his model prayer for us in Matthew 6: 

'Deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen!'  

Before Next Week:

• Read Chapter 3: 'Your Identity' and take notes in your journal 

• Write Chapter 3 prayer card 

• Pray!