Strategy 4: Your Family (Fortifying the Lives of Those You Love)

• Fervent Reading: Chapter 4, "Your Family"
• Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:21-33, Psalm 127, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalm 78:1-8

Fortify - "to strengthen with defensive works so as to protect against attack; to strengthen or invigorate someone inwardly or physically."

"If I were your enemy, I'd seek to disintegrate your family and destroy every member of it. I'd want to tear away at your trust and unity and turn everyone's love inward on themselves. I would make sure your family didn't look anything like it's supposed to. Because then people would look at your Christian marriage, your Christian kids, and see you're no different, no stronger than anybody else—that God, underneath it all, really doesn't change anything.

Notes from the study:

"The devil hates the family because he hates the gospel of Jesus Christ…Not only do marriages picture the gospel of God's grace on earth, but so do the relationships between children and their parents…The devil is on a mission, hell-bent to destroy the glory of God and His everlasting kingdom wherever it exists, so he aims at the most important target: the gospel." -Scott T. Brown, A Theology of the Family 

Praying for your husband:

In lesson two, we learned to focus on the real enemy—the devil—rather than fighting against our husband. We learned that our marriages are a flesh-and-blood representation of the gospel to our children…to the world. A picture of the believers relationship to God.

Let's read Eph. 5:21-33.

Verse 25 tells husbands to love their wives "as Christ loves the church." And, verse 22 tells wives to submit to their husbands "as unto the Lord." "The gospel truth is displayed by the very structure of the family. It should not be a surprise to us that the devil would hate God's design and purpose for the family." -Scott T. Brown, A Theology of the Family 

The gospel is at stake! And so, Satan is very interested in our marriages. 

When there is tension, struggles, bickering, silence—these are all marks of an outside enemy. Yet, our natural response is to attack each other. Some label this as the "crazy cycle"—a wife searching for love from her husband, a husband searching for respect from his wife. Each trying to change the other. 

Others label it as "insanity"—doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. "But isn't that what happens when you try to change your husband? It's frustration at the highest level." -The Love Dare

We do not have the ability to change our husbands, nor the authority over them, but we have been given authority "over all the power of the enemy" (Luke 10:17-20). 

And so, we can and should FIGHT for our marriage. We should become… 

Wise Farmers

A farmer cannot MAKE a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit. He plants the seed, nurtures the soil, protects it from weeds, and then turns it over to God (only God has the power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, your marriage). 

Regardless of the soil (i.e. type of husband) you are working with, you are to plan for success. You are to:

     — Get the weeds out of your marriage   

     — Nurture the soil of your man's heart  

     — Depend on God for the results 

All through: effective prayer

"A wife will accomplish more through strategic prayer than from all her persuasive efforts. It is also a much more pleasant way to live." -The Love Dare

Personal Story: When I first started to grasp this concept of running to the Lord with my frustrations rather than my husband, it was not easy. I would find myself stubbornly wanting to fight for my rights, say what was on my mind, or express where I was not feeling very loved. I was basically Newton's third law of motion in physics: for every action, I had a reaction! I knew God was prompting me to pray, but I knew that if I prayed, God would show me where I was wrong, and that I should love, regardless. But, when I finally humbled myself and took each matter to the Lord in prayer first, recognizing my need for His help, the Lord started strengthening me and gently teaching me how to love my husband in a deeper way. I also gained discernment in each situation, that would normally have been clouded through emotions, selfishness, tiredness, hormones, etc. Also, I noticed that my husband was much more drawn to me—and gave me the love I was looking for—when I was quiet and slow to react.  

• What would you change about your husband if you could?

• When are you most tempted to "fight" against your husband? 

• What can strengthen you and help you to take your vocal pleas to God instead of to your husband? [humbling ourselves, recognizing our need of God, submitting to God's purpose for marriage, realizing that though open communication done in the right way is healthy for the relationship—my desire to fight for my rights and always vocalize my feelings is a worldly philosophy]   

 

"Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults? Do you really think it's for endless nagging? No, it is for effective kneeling. No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you." -The Love Dare

Instead of resenting where your husband is weak, pray for where he is weak. The same way you would want him to do for you.

"Prayer is the gentle tool of restoration appropriated through the prayers of a wife who longs to do right more than be right, and to give life more than get even. It's a way to invite God's power into your husband's life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately yours too." -The Power of a Praying Wife 

• Where is your husband struggling right now? What are his concerns? (Job? Health? Finances?…)

• Write separate prayers for each of these areas. Include verses and promises of God that relate to these areas as well. Then, take time right now to pray these for him.

As we take each concern, issue and struggle to the Lord in prayer—we grow in our love for our husbands and God gently changes us in the process. Prayer is the ultimate love language.  

"We should pray for everyone, but especially our spouse. The purest love is expressed by earnest prayer, and prayer will preserve love." —Richard Steele, Theology of the Family

• What are a few areas you know if you changed about yourself, it would bring more enjoyment and blessing to your husband?

• Write a "Change Me" prayer to God for specific areas where you need to grow in the relationship. Ask God to reveal other areas of needed change, and to give wisdom as you relate in love to your husband and to give discernment as to his needs, both physical and spiritual. 

What our husband needs most right now is for his wife to become a "soft, safe place for him to land." He needs reprieve from the weight of a lifetime of supporting a family. He needs to come home to a safe haven—a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, rest and love. He needs a woman who "fears the Lord" (Prov. 31:30), and thus, throws all her burdens at the feet of Jesus, rather than on his shoulders. 

Praying for your children:

"The Bible says our children are 'like arrows in the hand of a warrior' (Ps. 127:4). We raise them up to shoot them out into the culture, bearing the image of Christ to the world." —Fervent 

Let's study Psalm 127:

(v. 1) - We cannot "build our houses" apart from God (Our will to work, abilities, opportunities, and successes are gifts of God)

(v. 2) - Trusting in the Lord, rather than in our own strength, gives inner peace and rest instead of constant anxiety

(v. 3-5) - Children are a great blessing—a gift—from God and help us bear the image of Christ to the world 

When I read this psalm in regards to my family, I am encouraged that I am not supposed to be a stressed out mom, but rather a mom that is trusting God and thus enjoying my children as the gift that they are (even amidst all the craziness!). We continue to be diligent in our many tasks as mothers, but the weight and the strain are gone as we trust God for the results. 

Pray FOR your children: 

As mothers, we often spend our days worrying about our children and the many struggles that come with caring for them. And, we take each of our child's struggles personally. We seek solutions from our friends, parenting books, blogs. But, we are forgetting our most powerful weapon not only to strengthen our children, but to strengthen us as moms: Prayer! 

"Be careful [stressed out, worried, full of anxiety] for NOTHING; but in everything by PRAYER and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the 

PEACE OF GOD, 

which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7   

• Is your family in need of more "peace of God"? 

We can take each struggle—great or small—to God and watch Him work in the lives of His children. We must remember they belong first to God and that He has a specific purpose for their life. 

Personal Story: I noticed that one of my sons was becoming lazy, and not pulling the same weight as the other kids. I was deeply concerned that I was getting nowhere with motivating him to work hard. I prayed very specifically that God would show him the value of hard work. That same day, I was folding the laundry and the Lord brought to mind the idea of having him put his own clothes away—a task I had not yet asked of him like I do the older kids. When he completed the task, I expressed how proud I was of him. He smiled and as I turned to help the older ones with their school work, I noticed that he decided on his own to not only put his clothes away, but everyone else's as well. I had tried several creative ways to motivate him in the past, but it wasn't until I allowed God to work in my son's life, that we gained true victory! 

It is our role to know our children and to intercede on their behalf. Pray for their protection, their character, their struggles, their friendships, their future. Above all, pray for their salvation, love for God and desire to read His Word and pray. 

• What specific needs does each of your children have right now?

• Write a prayer for each of your children, bringing to God their specific needs—spiritually, physically, relationally, etc.

Pray WITH your children: 

Prayer is often a more private habit; however, when it comes to our children, it is important that they see a vivid example in us of what it means to pray and how to pray. There are many ways to accomplish this. The way it worked in our family was that each night before putting the children to bed, rather than a quick, "Dear Lord, Thank you for this day. We pray for a good night's sleep. Amen," my husband would pray fervently and specifically for the needs of those in our family, church, and anyone else who came to mind. He would pray for them by name and bring their specific need before God. 

At first, I inwardly fought against this. It was such a fete getting the kids ready for bed, teeth brushed, and so on, that I was just wanting them in bed at that point. Plus, I thought they were so tired they probably were not even listening. But, in the last couple years, as our first two children have grown, I noticed something in them. They know how to pray! They know how to claim God's promises and pour out their hearts for the needs of others. Not only will praying with your children teach them how to pray and to take each concern to God, but it will also teach them to care about the needs of others.

And prayer is so much more than just bringing our requests before God—it is a relationship. It is a living interaction with our Father. You are teaching your children what it means to know God and walk humbly with Him. 

• When is a specific time you and your husband can pray with your children each day?  

My husband and I will also pray with our kids over specific areas of struggle in their life. Both to teach them their need of God and to show them the importance of gaining victory in that specific area of their life. This also shows them the deep value of prayer—that it's more than just a quick thing we do before meals. 

The most amazing—or I guess you could say, "magical"—thing about prayer is that it is the one habit we recollect the longest. Long after your words are forgotten, your child will remember your prayers. 

We must be wise, God-fearing mothers, unlike the ostrich described in Job, "which leaveth her eggs in the earth…and forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them…her labour is in vain without fear" (Job 39:14-16). We cannot leave our children to chance, or the devil will surely take hold of them! We must in wisdom, fervently seek the Lord and entrust them to His care.  

• How can prayer become more of a priority in your home?  

  

We may fail in many things as parents, but let's get this one thing right: that we never grow weary in praying for our children and in training them to hope in God! 

May this be our resolution:

That the generation to come might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God…showing them the praises of the Lord, and His strength, and His wonderful works that He has done. (Psalm 78:6-7, 4) 

  

  

Strategy 3: Your Identity (Remembering Who You Are in Christ)

• Fervent Reading: Chapter 3: Your Identity
• Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:8-14, Matthew 5:16, Ephesians 1:3-19 

"If I were your enemy, I'd devalue your strength and magnify your insecurities until they dominate how you see yourself, disabling and disarming you from fighting back, from being free, from being who God has created you to be. I'd work hard to ensure that you never realize what God has given you so you'll doubt the power of God within you."

Notes from the study:

"If we don't know who we really are, we'll downplay our real strength. We'll hate our bodies, highlight our weaknesses, cringe with insecurities, and constantly view ourselves as 'less than' by comparison with others." -Priscilla Shirer, Fervent 

Personal Story: Just before reading this chapter on our identity, I had a week filled with little reminders of where I was falling short as a mom, as a wife, as a woman. And then, the weekend came. My husband and his boss were donating their time to build a coffee bar for a ministry a few hours away and the wives and kids were all invited to come along. I had planned a few fun activities to do with the boss' wife while the men worked. I had met her a few months earlier—beautiful, intelligent, stylish, very together—I was excited to get to know her. But, before I could suggest a hike or the local coffee shop, she had changed into work clothes, drill in hand and was ready to help the men work and lay tile. My mouth dropped open. 

"Oh right" I thought, "I should help too. I hadn't thought of that." But then a second thought came to mind, "I don't have a drill or know the first thing about laying tile. I would make a fool of myself." Then a third thought came, "Should I know how to do these things? My husband is in construction. Am I a bad wife because I can't help him with his projects?" The thoughts raced in my mind faster than I could control them: "Look at her by her husbands side. Amazing! And she's not afraid to wear rough clothes around everyone and she still looks beautiful. I could never be that confident. Why can't I be like her? Why can't I do this work? What can I do? Cook, organize, write place cards...not really that amazing." "Well," I said, interrupting my running thoughts, "I had better go check on the kids." 

And with that, I grabbed my Bible and Fervent book and RAN to a quiet place before anyone could read what was written all over my face. I opened up my book to the next chapter, "Your Identity." This was my breaking point. All week it seemed everywhere I looked, I was reminded of where I was failing, weak and inadequate. I let Satan sneak his way into my mind and devalue who I am in Christ. After reading the chapter and all the powerful verses, I fell to my knees in earnest prayer. And, what God had for me was grace, comfort like a gentle breeze, and wisdom. 

As I prayed, God brought to mind a conversation my husband and I had the first year of our marriage—ten years ago!—a conversation I had not thought about since. Suddenly, I remembered my husband expressing to me how much he loved that though we were similar, we each had our own areas of strength that we appreciated about each other. He loves how much he can impress me with what he can build and do. He loves that he feels needed, much the same how I feel when I cook a meal for him and he says, "You are amazing!" Right there—in the midst of my praying—I realized that I am who my husband needs. And while this woman is amazing, she is not married to my husband. I am! 

Then, God kept pouring down the wisdom as I started to see this woman in a new light. She is who her husband needs! I started to appreciate who she is and shifted from praying for myself to praying for her. Rather then resenting her or competing with her, I was now able to love her and be the friend that she needs. Even, to learn from her. I found myself the next week, helping my father-in-law lay his gravel driveway, having learned from her to not be afraid of tougher jobs. 

In the days to follow, I would watch her ride horses, drive four wheelers, and continue to amaze me. But, I was growing in my friendship with her. Why? Because of the wisdom gained through communion with my Father! Prayer brings who we are and how God sees us back into focus. And it is not until then that we can love others in a way that distinguishes us as believers (I Peter 1:22).

__________

"I recommend that you sit down sometime and think about what you are. Just think about it. You say you do not want to get interested in yourself. Well, you had better, because the devil is, and the world is, and so you had better be interested too…and do no let the world or the books of psychology tell you what you are. God to God's Word and find out what you are as a believing man or woman and as a Christian, a follower of Christ…As Christians, we ought to think of ourselves as being what God says we are. We cannot allow false modesty, doubts or unbelief to prevent us from accepting God's favor and putting ourselves in faith and humility where God puts us…We are exactly what God says we are. No more, and certainly no less."  -A.W. Tozer, Living as a Christian

So… 

Who Am I?

• If someone were to ask you to describe yourself, what are the specific things you feel make you, YOU?

• Where do you struggle most with feeling weak or inadequate?

• What does it mean to you to be a child of God?  

Ephesians 5:8-9 tells us that at one time, we were darkness, but now we are "Light in the Lord" and so we are to "walk as children of light." This light produces fruit (v.9)—the fruit of the Spirit—goodness (love in action), righteousness and truth. 

Our light was meant to SHINE in a dark world and glorify our Father (Matthew 5:16).

• Is your light shining? 

"[Without the true reality of your identity], you lose the effectiveness of your influence as a wife, a mom, a friend, a daughter, a sister—all the relationships where God has placed you to be a light of His grace, His power, His love, His well-placed confidence." -Priscilla Shirer, Fervent   

In verse 13 of Ephesians 5, we learn that we overcome the darkness of evil by shining the light of God's goodness. And, in verse 14, Paul encourages the believers of Ephesus to "arise from the dead," reminding them that they are alive! They once were dead in their sin, but now they are a walking, breathing picture of the resurrection.

As believers, we should be living fully alive, fully awake, fully aware of the truth of our identity.

Let's study Ephesians 1:3-19:

1. The TRUTH of your Identity (v.3-14):

Living "in Christ" (v.3) is the most significant aspect of your identity. "In Christ" we have EVERYTHING we need for a successful, satisfying Christian life ("all spiritual blessings"). 

• If you were rich, how would your life be different? [less struggle]

• What do you think it means to be spiritually rich? [no limits]

• How does living "in Christ" affect who you are and how you live? [we have all resources available to us]

• How does it affect your influence of others? 

"Believers today have limitless wealth at their disposal, and yet they live like paupers." -Warren Wiersbe, Ephesians: Be Rich 

The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever." -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

What we have received from the Father:

• He has __________________ us. (v.4)  "God is always previous." -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God. It humbles us to know that our salvation is truly a gift!  

• He has __________________ us. (v.5)  "Adoption is the gracious act of God whereby He chooses us. calls us to Himself, and gives us the privileges and blessings of being His children…adoption includes two precious benefits: a blessed status and wondrous privileges. God's adopted children share a status similar to the very Son of God (cf. Hos. 1:10; Rom. 9:26; 2 Cor. 6:18). This means that they enjoy the same love from God that exists between the Father and His Son (John 17:23; cf. Jer. 31:3; I John 3:1)…From being a child of the Devil to becoming a child of God; from a child of wrath to the object of God's favor; from a child of condemnation to an heir of all the promises and a possessor of all blessings; from the greatest misery to the highest felicity—adoption is a stupendous wonder." -Reformation Heritage Study Bible, p. 1628 

• He has __________________ us. (v.6) We are one with Christ and thus in God's favor. God sees us as He sees Jesus Christ. You cannot do anything to earn more of God's favor or to decrease God's favor. Our standing is perfect.  

What we have received from the Son:

• He has __________________ us. (v.7a) Gift of freedom by the payment of a ransom price, the sacrificial death (blood) of Christ (Mark 10:45); Christ redeemed sinners by satisfying God's justice (Rom. 3:24-26).  

• He has __________________ us. (v.7b)  

• He has __________________ God's will to us. (vv. 8-10)    

• He has made us an __________________. (vv. 11-12) We have been given the right to enjoy God's kingdom, as sons and daughters. Believers exist for the "praise of His glory." 

What we have received from the Holy Spirit:

• He has __________________ us. (v.13) (legal documents were authorized by the impression of a seal upon wax—the Spirit impresses the gospel on the heart)

• He has given us an  __________________. (v.14) (i.e. "down payment": a legally binding pledge of full possession in the future) 

2. The PRAYER for your Identity (v. 15-19):  

Paul prayed fervently that the believers would know their true identity—that they would:

• Know God (v.17): The Holy Spirit gives wisdom and reveals truth so that believers increase in the experiential knowledge of God. 

• Know God's Calling (v.18) We need to pray for more spiritual light in our minds and hearts (Psalm 119:18).

• Know God's Riches (v.18) 

• Know God's Power (v.19)  "Paul wanted us to know the greatness of God's power so that we would not fail to use our wealth, and so that the enemy would not deprive us of our wealth." -Warren Wiersbe, Ephesians: Be Rich 

"There's strategy to this combination of the Word and prayer. From Scripture we receive written proof of what God has done for us, what He's created us and called us and empowered us into becoming. Then in prayer we cooperate with Him to stamp these truths repeatedly into our hearts. In prayer we…transform the way we think of ourselves, receiving and believing our true identity—the one that was stamped on us the moment we ran to the foot of the cross." -Priscilla Shirer, Fervent

We often live in half truths, when we were meant to live in WHOLENESS. We are to put on the "belt of TRUTH" (Eph. 6:14) —meditate on God's Word—and then to think on those things that are TRUE (Phil. 4:4). TRUTH is God's standard and viewpoint about us, secured through God's Word and prayer. Rather than surrendering to an army of insecurities and misdiagnosis, you can be COURAGEOUSLY THRIVING in the security of your identity in Christ. Paul said, "I CAN through Christ" (Phil. 4:13).

And the truth is—those areas in ourselves where we see flaws, inadequacies, failures, weaknesses—those are the areas that are primed to display God's glory through the strengths and resources we now have in Christ!

"Let us by the grace of God, with [love] for all and hatred for none, but determination to be loyal to truth if it kills us, put our chin a little higher and our knees a little lower." -A.W. Tower, Living as a Christian

Say it with confidence and gratitude: 

"I am His and He is mine!" 

• Read through all the verses at the end of the chapter, and write one on a card to look at throughout the week and be reminded of the truth of who you are or what you have in Christ. 

For further study, click this link to enjoy a sermon by John MacArthur on Ephesians 1

Before Next Week:

• Read Chapter 4: "Your Family" and take notes in your journal   

• Write a prayer for each member of your immediate family 

• Pray! 

  

  

Strategy 2: Your Focus (Fighting the Real Enemy)

• Fervent Reading: Chapter 2: Your Focus
• Bible Reading:  Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Chron. 20:15, 17, Matt. 6:13 

"If I were your enemy, I'd disguise myself and manipulate your perspectives so that you'd focus on the wrong culprit—your husband, your friend, your hurt, your finances, anything or anyone except me. Because when you zero in on the most convenient, obvious places to strike back against your problems, you get the impression you're fighting for something. Even though all you're really doing is just…fighting. For nothing."

Notes from the study:

Illustration: If you ever watch a professional juggler, you will notice that no matter how many balls he is juggling, he is always focused on the highest point. As women, we juggle many things in life, but our focus should not be on those things, but rather the highest point—our God, Who can keep those "balls" from falling! (Isaiah 26:3 says, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.")   

"Focus clears away the clutter, minimizes distractions, and keeps you from being preoccupied with less important things."

• What are the little things we are often distracted with? [pursuit of peace and quiet, to/do list for the day, clean house…]

"Focus protects your goals and dreams from being consumed in small bites, stolen right out from under your nose in twenty-minute segments of compromise."

• What are some of your goals and dreams?  [raising godly children, being a joyful and peaceful mom, beautiful marriage…]

• What areas of compromise can eat away at those dreams? [impatience, anger, griping, bitterness…]

Amidst the craziness—the busyness and the distractions—of life, we can easily lose touch with a passage like Ephesians 6, which teaches us where our attacks are originating from and where our focus should be. We often will quickly lose our cool, our temper, and most of our self-control before we ever find our way back to reality.

REALITY is that we have been fighting the wrong enemy. The enemy is not your husband, children, finances, current living situation, church, in-laws, neighbors, health, upbringing, you fill in the blank—it is not 'flesh and blood,' things we can see… 

Let's study Ephesians 6:10-18:

1. Recognize the real enemy: the devil

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world..." (v.12)

2. Rely on God's solution: armor of God and PRAYER!

Fill in the blanks based on verses 13-17:  

• loins girt about with _________________ . Meditation on the truth of the Bible makes one's mind ready for battle. (Protects us from the devil's lies) 

• breastplate of ______________________ . Living obediently to God's Word protects our hearts from sin. (Protects us from the devil's accusations) 

• feet shod with the _____________    _____    ___________ . The gospel is our peace—peace with God—and it teaches us how to have peace with others. The gospel is our firm footing which reminds us that Christ has set us free! (Protects us from fear, guilt and spiritual bondage)  

• shield of ___________________ . Living faith in God's promises and His power. (Protects us from temptation)  

• helmet of ______________________ . Our future hope. (protects our minds from Satan's control) 

• sword of the Spirit, ______________    _______    __________ . Christians can strike back at Satan's kingdom by speaking the Word of God!

This armor is a picture of Christ. He is Truth. He is Righteousness. Thus, Romans 13:14 encourages us to "put on Christ." We received this armor the moment we received Christ, but we appropriate it each day through prayer.

Verse 18 says, "PRAYING ALWAYS with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit." 

We already possess this armor, but prayer is the ENERGY that enables us to wear it. It is the universal weapon of warfare, needed "at all times" (specific times, precise occasions, particular events') and so our prayers must be fervent, specific and personal.

And these prayers must be "in the Spirit." The Spirit directs our prayers through the Word (v.17). Without the Word of God, our prayers are missing the Spirit of God and without prayer, our Bible reading is missing the energy, life, vitality, the walking in the Spirit that was meant to spur our lives to good works and real faith—to victory.

This is a spiritual battle, so physical weapons—trying harder, getting up earlier, moving to a different neighborhood, giving your husband the silence treatment, giving that family member a piece of your mind—won't work.

Read through the verses at the end of chapter 2:

• What verse stands out most to you?  

• Write that verse on a card and put it on your windowsill or mirror or a place where you will see it throughout the day.

• Who or what do you spend your days fighting against? [our husbands, our children, our own negative thoughts…] 

• Do you ever feel like you really won? (Did God get the glory?)

God gets the glory when we hold our tongue, show kindness and love, think thoughts that are true—i.e. live out the gospel! 

___________________ 

Sidenote: MARRIAGE

Marriage is where Satan stands strongest against us, because he is directly opposed to the gospel. Your marriage is a flesh and blood representation of the gospel to your children, your friends, to everyone who knows you. 

What we see in the gospel is unconditional love—Christ demonstrating his love toward sinners like you and me who were UNWORTHY of His affection. 

Even if our husbands are worthy of our love and affection, Satan will find ways to sneak into our minds and divide us against each other—he will make the small matters seem monstrous and cause you to question your husband's love (for example: he may be washing the dishes for you and you are filled with resentment that he hasn't kissed you yet today —or conversely— you may have received plenty of affection that day, but would love a little help around the house!) No matter what our husbands do or don't do, they will never win with us as long as we let the devil rule in our thoughts. But, when in the moment, if you STOP and PRAY, looking to Christ for how to love and respond to your husband—Christ transforms your thinking and your marriage!

Instead of looking to our husbands for the love, joy, and peace that we need, we should be running to Christ! Then, we can bring the love, joy, peace we gain from Christ back to our husbands as a gift to our marriage. (The Battle Plan for Prayer, Kendrick)  

When disagreements occur, pray that neither or you will allow these differences to dominate, causing you to lose focus. Pray that you'll be committed to:

• listening respectfully 

• confessing openly 

• extending patience and kindness promptly 

• being hard to offend 

• being quick to forgive

"Hath not God said, 'A soft tongue breaketh the bone' (Prov. 25:15)? [This] is more than any [spiteful] tongue can do…This is certain: if meekness and respect will not prevail, anger and passion never can…'" -Richard Steele, A Theology of the Family, p. 250  

Though Satan would like us to believe that our husband is the enemy, in reality, when we fight against our husbands, we are fighting against ourselves! 

"The wife ought to consider that her honor and respect among her family and neighbors doth very much rise and fall according to that which she bears to her husband, so that in honoring him she honors herself." -Richard Steele, A Theology of the Family, p. 248   

It's not that you give in and give up. Rather, it is recognizing that you are not your husband's judge. It is allowing God to take over and change him. It's not your job to change your husband. It's your job to love him, to respect him and to pray for him.

___________________  

Ephesians 6:10 tells us to be strong  _____    ______    __________.

• So, do we need to work hard to fight against Satan?  [No, we cannot defeat him on our own; we are weak, but our God is all-powerful!]

• What do we do, then, when faced with a struggle or conflict?  [Seek God; PRAY! We do not have to fear, because He who is in us is greater than he that is in the world—I John 4:4]

When you pray, you let God TAKE OVER the battle, for 'the battle is not yours but God's' (2 Chron. 20:15, 17). And just as He delivered Noah and his family from the flood, the Israelites from bondage, Joseph from the pit and prison, Daniel from the lion's den, his friends from the fire, God can deliver you! From whatever you are up against today.

We can echo the words of Christ in his model prayer for us in Matthew 6: 

'Deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen!'  

Before Next Week:

• Read Chapter 3: 'Your Identity' and take notes in your journal 

• Write Chapter 3 prayer card 

• Pray!

 

   

Intro, Strategy 1: Your Passion

• Fervent Reading: Chapter 1: "Your Passion" 
• Bible Reading: John 10:10, Ephesians 6:10-18, Colossians 1:11
• I encourage you to watch the movie "War Room" to see a modern day example of fervent prayer! 

Thank you for joining the study! I wish each one of you could meet on my balcony with our group each week, but my prayer is that near or far, you will find a strength as a woman you never knew before though TOTAL dependency on the power of our God. Power that is unleashed through fervent prayer. Prayer that is spurred through fervent study of God's Word.

Notes from the study:

Introduction: 

As women, mothers of small children, we are often desperate for change. For improvement in our homes. For healing. Yet, the thought of adding one more thing to our list of what we should be doing is exhausting. You can breathe. Because in this study, there will not be 10 steps to improve your life by or a standard you need to attain to. We will not be complicating our lives, but rather simplifying them. The first thing we must recognize is our need of God. We were never meant to be the strong ones. We were made to rely on the strength and the solutions of our all-powerful, sufficient Father! It is lack of prayer that has complicated our lives.

Still, there is one nagging factor we struggle with each time we are challenged to deepen our prayer life: TIME! A commodity as women that we cannot afford. It is not that we don't want to pray, but that we barely have time to even think in a day, let alone pray. I would submit that the struggle lies not in our busy schedules but in our failure to understand the value of prayer.

For example, what if a wealthy man in your town offered you ten thousand dollars in cash every morning if you simply show up on his doorstep at 6:00 am to receive it? Would you be there? Absolutely! No question. We would be grabbing our kids out of their beds, skipping breakfast, and doing whatever we had to in order to make that appointment each morning. We know the value of money. And so we figure out a way to fit it into our schedules. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is daily offering us eternal treasures from His Word and through sharing our hearts and needs with Him in prayer. He is offering us rich lives, abundant lives. Lives that proclaim His glory. And yet how often is prayer the top on our priority list for the day?

I have this quote on my board: 

'Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says, OH NO, SHE'S UP!'

 When your feet hit the floor in the morning, what is on your mind?

• All you have to do that day? 

• The troubles of yesterday?

• Fear of facing another day?

• Just getting to your cup of coffee?

• OR — ducking for cover as you make a fervent stride to your place of prayer? Knowing that if you want this day to be victorious—if you want to have joy and bring God glory—it must begin in the strength of the Lord—it must begin with a strategy...

Because, WE ARE AT WAR!

We face three enemies:

1. The world
2. The flesh
3. The devil 

And they are out to destroy you and your family. 

John 10:10 begins, 'The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill and to destroy.' Ephesians 6:11 says, 'For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world...'

But Ephesians 6:10  says to 'be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.' And, Colossians 1:11 says that we are 'strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power.'

Without prayer, we cannot succeed in our marriages, in our circumstances, with our children. Any success we might have would be a false perception, because we would have failed in bringing God glory.  

When we fail to pray, we live void of God's power and rob ourselves of the end of the verse in John 10:10, 'I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.' 

Let's Get Started:

Take a prayer card out of the back of the book and write down one thing you would like to see change in your life or the deepest burden of your heart right now. Each day of this study, you will be praying for this and adding verses to the card that remind you of God's promises in this area.

Take a look at the contents page and circle the one strategy that you would put as your number one struggle.

WARNING: As you begin this study on prayer, know that you will face opposition from the devil and your flesh and be tempted strongly at your weakest point. If there is anything Satan doesn't want, it is believers praying! He knows he can defeat us, but he does not stand a chance against our God!

Chapter 1 Questions: 

1. What do we often attribute loss of passion too? 
2. What are signs of loss of passion?
3. How does Satan work to dim our passion? 
4. Where does passion come from?
5. So, how can we get it back?
6. What verses at the end of the chapter did you find most encouraging?
7. What practical life examples came to mind as you read this chapter?
8. Anything else you learned? 

Answer these questions first on your own in your notebook and then look below for the group discussion answers from the study.

Group Discussion Answers:

1. What do we often attribute loss of passion too?   

busyness, tiredness

2. What are signs of loss of passion? 

lack of desire to read God's Word or pray, discouragement, easily give in to temptation

3. How does Satan work to dim our passion? 

He distracts us, accuses us, condemns us, making us feel guilty — unlike God who convicts us, filling us with hope and restoration

4. Where does passion come from?

 God, Jeremiah 24:7 says, 'I will give them a heart to know me." 

5. So how can we get it back?

PRAYER!!! The way we get passionate about praying is by praying!

6. What verses did you find most encouraging? 

Lamentations 3:22-23 — one mom shared that she was reluctant to get up one morning and face the day with the kids, and then the Lord brought this verse to mind, reminding her that His mercies are new every morning.

Ezekiel 36:26 — this verse says God will give us a heart that is alive and tender again, responsive to Him

Before Next Week:

• Read Chapter 2: 'Your Focus' and take notes in your journal 

• Write your chapter 2 prayer card 

• Pray! (Find a quiet place and seek God each morning before you start your day. Acknowledge Him as God. Humbly seek His forgiveness if needed. Pour out your heart to Him on behalf of yourself and those you love. Thank Him for His many blessings. And, leave your prayer room having handed everything over to Him with bold faith in what He has said He will do and then watch Him do 'exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think!')